Gotta Go

Song Description:

Just when you thought the plane ride couldn’t get more uncomfortable,

the seat belt sign goes on, trapping you in your row with a very full bladder.

Lyrics:                                                             

I am buckled on Allegiant with at least five screamin’ babies,
and the flight to Santa Ana has another hour to go.
How I long to visit In & Out for food and peace and quiet,
to help reclaim my sanity. The clock is movin’ slow.

(Babies crying)

 There’s a guy asleep beside me that I envy so his calmness.
He has earbuds firmly placed to ease him through the sonic storm.
‘Course the vodka that he swallowed must contribute to his bliss
that soon engulfed him in this cabin, which to me seems way too warm.

(Snoring)

My knees have felt the limit of the seat that’s firmly planted
in the floor so close in front of me my posture makes me ache.
The position of a fetus shouldn’t soon come back to haunt us.
Guess I’ll pick a better option when the next long trip I take.

 “Sorry about the turbulence that we’re experiencing”

I am prayin’ that my bladder can hold out ‘til John Wayne saves me
‘cuz the seat belt sign is on and that restricts my chance to go.
I must grit my teeth and tense my sphincter, tighter, ever tighter.
It’s not really like I’m there with him inside the Alamo.

“Think you can make it, pilgrim?” 

Ah, the angle of our progress has at last shown we’re descending,
And my inner ears are poppin’. We should soon be on the ground.
There’s a bathroom down below somewhere that beckons, oh so strongly.
It will be a slice of Heaven when that potty I’ve tracked down.

“Please keep your seat belt fastened until we have come to a complete stop at the gate”

Lyrics: Roland Burbank
Music, sound effects, keyboards, recording, mixing: John Andrew Schreiner
Vocals: Alex Mackey / Cathy Schreiner
Banjo track: Bob Somma
Guitars: Bob Somma, Randy Mitchell, Colin Heinrich
Graphic Design & Digital Artwork: Garry Grant

This song is in these categories:

• All Songs
• Humor